Here’s something I’ve only learned recently about carrying grief: moving forward is a choice. It’s not something that happens automatically. It’s a decision you have to make every day: to move towards the possibilities of the future, rather than dwell on the pleasure or pain of the past.
This is not my natural inclination. I’ve always been a nostalgic person, happy to bathe in the sepia-toned memories, the old songs and elevated feelings of the past, replaying them over and over. I loved my old life. I miss it. Then I meet someone like Gabby Giffords. She has every reason to long for her previous life — the life she had fifteen years ago, with the promise of a bright future and youthful ease that she shared with her husband Senator Mark Kelly; the life she had before a would-be assassin’s bullet robbed her of it.
But Gabby doesn’t dwell on comparing her life then and now. She doesn’t rail against all that was stolen from her. She chooses her future over her past. She moves forward — and does so with stunning perseverance, grace and optimism.
I take a lot of inspiration from Gabby. Every day we have a choice of how to live these all too brief moments on Earth. So lately, I too try to stay in the present, with an eye to the future, rather than a mind cast to the past.
You can see our full conversation tonight at 8p (et) on Scripps News. You can also watch it on Scripps YouTube channel and via the app.
I’d love to hear what you think of our conversation.
You and I are both the same age and participants in the NYC punk scene, loved your book! Gabby! what a survivor... it makes me cry and smile... I'll check it out for sure.
I am widowed and after the initial couple of years of resetting I understood that one had to make a life for oneself. That meant moving forward. Having a reason to get up everyday is also a way to find purpose and move forward. Nothing stays the same, but one can have a rich and meaningful life with the new ways one has chosen. I wish that for everyone who has encountered a profound loss.